My
Nana's collection of friends over the years was like a collection of teacups;
delicate and fancy, simple and practical. Over the many decades of her
life, her friends had arrived through some kindness she had shown them or that
they had shown her. Her gratitude in enjoying her friends was a tangible thing
and no time proved that more explicitly than her birthday. On the few occasions
that I happened to be visiting around the beginning of April, I would see card
upon beautifully decorated card displayed around the window next to the table
where she sat and played cards and smoked Camels. There were piles on the table
where she drew and painted on the Florida porch and, usually, dozens stuck into
her address book, so she would know whose birthday was coming up, to return the
gesture. It is a vague memory, but a solid one: My Nana had a lot of friends
and they all showed her some love on her birthday.
So I
knew what my Mom was referring to the other night when I told her that, after a
day of babysitting Luca, I checked in to my Facebook page and saw over a
hundred birthday wishes from friends...and counting! She said, "Who are
you? My mother?"
I am a
lucky birthday girl. The postman dropped off several traditional birthday
wishes in the form of greeting cards through the mailslot in my kitchen door,
but, in addition, I received over a hundred Facebook greetings on my birthday
this year. This has never, ever,
happened in my life before. My birthday comes in the winter and nobody wants to
go out into the dark and cold, and if they do, they're buying Valentines so
they don't get in trouble with their significant others. This new
phenomenon--getting tons of wishes for my birthday is amazing and humbling. I
know you're supposed to say that so as to appear appropriately gracious, but
I'm not kidding...I am humbled.
Of
course, with the Internet and Facebook, it is very easy to virtually pop over
to someone's Facebook, LinkedIn or email address, type out a little greeting
and go on about your day. If you happen to forget things like birthdays,
Facebook (and a dozen other apps and functions) will remind you. Facebook will
even suggest that you send your acquaintance a bouquet of flowers or a cup of
coffee, like some irksome, electronic personal assistant (as if you hadn't
thought of it yourself. And would have if you weren't so busy...).
Birthday
wishes are fun. Birthday wishes are sweet. Birthday wishes are one of those
things that take literally seconds to complete, but have the power of turning
an entire day around. That's why it is so important to value them. Think about
it: having people in your life who stop and declare for all the Internet to see
their affection for you by sending a written greeting to acknowledge your
birthday is big. And? Humbling.
Friends
are collected through the ages. As far as I can remember, Nana always
spoke with love and affection about her all her friends and acquaintances. She
talked about this one's wonderful baking skills or that one's gorgeous garden.
If Nana were around today, Facebook would break with all the wishes she received on her birthday. For me, I heard from my "oldest"
friend (a girlfriend from junior high school) and one of my "newest"
friends (we haven't even actually met yet...but we will some day!)
Madeleine L'Engle said, "The great thing about getting older is that you
don't lose all the other ages you've been." Or in my case, the friends.
