This summer, my husband was asked to present at a conference
for single dads. They wanted him to create a presentation called a Single Dad’s
Toolkit--a compendium of resources and strategies to help single dads cope
with, well, being a single dad.
Every Friday, I receive a Weekend Writer’s Toolkit email
from the Story Circle Network. This email contains resources and strategies to
keep your writing practice going over the weekend...no rest for the weary
writers, I suppose.
Across the worlds of business, education, mental health,
medicine and technology are toolkits of one kind or another; a compilation of
devices or tactics to help one succeed at a training or deal with a transition.
They are digital or actual, videos, pamphlets and downloads. Or, as I recently
discovered, brown cardboard boxes.
I make a habit of ordering from drugstore.com, not because I
am embarrassed by my purchases...no crazy sex toys or secret anti-fungal
remedies in my orders. I just like the convenience of having my purchases delivered
to my door. It’s particularly nice in the winter so I don’t have to brave the
cold and snow for deodorant. For over ten years, my chosen brands of
toothpaste, shampoo, moisturizer and lip balm have arrived at my door at
practically a moment’s notice. (Seriously, these people get things to you
fast!) As I opened my last shipment and placed all my purchases together on the
counter, I realized that what I had ordered was my own toolkit--a toolkit for
aging.
As a woman gets older, she needs, or at least I need, more
stuff that adds moisture to my skin. And hair and nails and almost everywhere
else. Because we’re drying out, aren’t we? This last time, I found some things
that supposedly help with that. I found a new shampoo and conditioner; one
“defies age” and the other is “ageless.” The conditioner is a dark beige color
and the shampoo is purple. Purple! Isn’t that the color of all those shampoos
you used to watch being poured onto the heads of the old ladies when you went
to the beauty parlor with your mother? (And had to wait while she sat under the
dryer and couldn’t hear you complain about having to read about Goofus and
Gallant in last year’s Highlights magazine for the umpteenth time? Wait. I just
realized. I read Highlights magazine
at the beauty parlor. Ironic.)
My aging toolkit didn’t stop at shampoo and conditioner. I ordered a lotion to darken my legs so
the blue-white skin from winter wouldn’t blind anyone when I went outside in
shorts. I ordered a potion to lighten my hair so the remainder of my somewhat
blonde would blend with the increasingly abundant gray. I used to trust the sun
to do those jobs, but not anymore, so I added some SPF creams for face and
body. And even though I’m not sunbathing, I will still need to replenish the
moisture that apparently just evaporates now with some after (no) sun lotion.
I never thought of myself as an “age-defying” person. Except
for the occasional frightening moment when I see my face in my 10x lighted
mirror , I typically embrace my aging as part of the whole experience of my
life. I should look different if I’ve lasted this long and done this much,
shouldn’t I? Of course I lament the loss of more supple skin or less saggy arms,
but I soon forget about it (which is one of the nice things about age). There
may come a time when I am not able to be so positive about it, so I am feeling
pretty lucky with what I’ve got.
And a toolkit doesn’t hurt, either.
