Why Do Today What I Can Put Off Until Next Year?

The only reason that I have sparkly, white Christmas lights hanging in my living room today is because I never took them down from last year's Christmas decorating. (I'm not kidding.)  I did manage to buy a bag of Candy Cane Kisses and miniature candy canes for my English class's final exam yesterday, but as my students ate most of the treats, there really isn't much left for my family. I have not bought one Christmas present. For anyone.

If you came into my house right now you would not see my reindeer candy dish brimming with M&Ms, the Santa-covered photo book of all the Christmas card pictures I've received over the years or the cute little snowmen that I usually stick here and there to be festive.

There is no tree.

There are no stockings hung with care or otherwise and the only other decorative, Christmas-y item in view in my house is the handmade advent calendar that I managed to get out on December 1st. But as of today we do not have 16 ornaments hanging on it. The emails I get announcing "Last Minute Specials!" or "Free Shipping- Today Only!" get deleted because I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about Christmas at all. The only thing I want to think about is this...

I'm not depressed! Far from it. I'm just too busy looking at this boy! Luca. Ever since Annie, Tony and the baby moved into my house after Thanksgiving, I've done nothing but hold the baby, change the baby, bathe the baby, hold the baby again or watch other people hold the baby. That takes a lot of time. And energy -especially for an "older" me. All my Mommy skills came back in an interesting way: I'm more confident of them, just slower at them. And my knees hurt more.

No one gets anything done. Except Tony but he has to go all the way to Manhattan to do it. I have managed to go to work when I'm expected, but I come right back and snatch up Luca from wherever he is and gaze into his face. At six weeks old, he is starting to recognize us and I think that he likes me best so far. Obviously I'm not going to tell anyone that, because I think his mommy and daddy might be put out by this information...but it's clear that I'm right. He laughs at all my jokes and hasn't peed on me at all. If that's not evidence I don't know what is.

I'm not the only one that is totally enraptured by this baby. My husband is as swept away as the rest of us and threatens to take him back to Italy - just the two of them. And that shrieking noise you hear is Nana Sue up in Buffalo going out of her mind missing him. A baby changes everything. Well, duh...we all knew that, didn't we. But I didn't know how much he would change me. Christmas -- and probably the next several holidays and possibly dusting and laundry -- will just have to wait. Unless it has to do with the baby, I don't have time. For now, the only thing I'm celebrating is Luca.